Welcome, dear listeners, to the newest episode of Join The Docs with your favourite medical history buff, Professor Jonathan Sackier, and the ever-erudite Doctor Nigel Guest. Today, with a few sick jokes along the way, they're diving head first into the wild world of diseases, both the bone-a-fide and the baloney!

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What is the strangest disease you've never heard of? Professor Sackier starts things off with a dramatic reading from the Encyclopaedia of Obscure Ailments, setting the stage for a journey through the annals of ail-ment and ail-mess nomenclature. Dr. Guest observes that fake disease merchants have got it in for him....or did he mean in for me?

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As The Docs dissect the classification and history of diseases, the duo emphasises the absolute, unassailable, and sometimes comically complex importance of precise medical terminology. They regale us with tales of conditions so rare that they might as well be unicorn illnesses. Not that unicorns have ever visited Dr.  Guest's practice, but our Professor definitely believes they exist!

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Can you tell the difference between a real disease and a fake one? The conversation takes a turn for the surreal as they explore the distinction between real and fake diseases. Professor Sackier warns of the dangers of faux maladies, dramatically pausing before revealing the notorious "mauve factor disease," which he insists is not just a purple patch in medical history.

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Have you ever heard of "Paranoia About Paranoia"? Dr. Guest chimes in with a cautionary tale about this condition that has patients obsessively washing their hands. The two marvel at the absurdity but soberly remind us of the necessity of evidence-based medicine.

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How do fake diseases affect real patients? As they wrap up, our hosts underscore the ethical responsibility of healthcare professionals to steer clear of endorsing the medical equivalent of urban legends. The Docs paint a vivid picture of the potential harm to patients, with Professor Sackier lamenting the rise of "Therapeutic Tarot Reading" and Dr. Guest bemoaning the latest fad, "Quantum Healing Crystals." Well, maybe not that extreme -  but do listen all the way through!

To finish The Docs urge listeners to stay informed, stay sceptical, and, above all, to keep laughing. And remember, if you ever find yourself getting paranoid about the diseases you think you may have, don't hesitate to see a medical professional. They’ll set you straight.